Goddamn kids these days

I have seen some things on my time here on earth, The fall of communism, the increase and decrease of Oprah windfrys waist line, and Mr.T cereal, and although that seems like more than enough things to die a happy man I can safely say "No! It's not enough!". I say this because even though I have seen terrible things, the worst would have to be witnessing the rise of teenage girls, and their awkward generation.
Sure we've all encountered the random 16 year old girl behind the counter at Burger King, while buying our disgusting testicle shrinking burgers, and their fuzzy, fizzy, rat urine tasting drinks. Sure here you might get some awkward stares, and perhaps the inability to function but ohhhh oh oh oh.. let me tell you, on the internet they are a force to be reckoned with my sweet, sweet child.

Camwhore is her

For all the unsavy users of computers or perhaps people who in search of the Beatrice Arthur memorial page ended up on this blog site, let me fill you in on what a camwhore is.

Whore [hawr, hohr or, often, hoo r]
–noun

a woman who engages in promiscuous sexual intercourse, usually for money; prostitute; harlot; strumpet.

Camera /ˈkæmərə, ˈkæmrə/ [kam-er-uh, kam-ruh]
–noun
a boxlike device for holding a film or plate sensitive to light, having an aperture controlled by a shutter that, when opened, admits light enabling an object to be focused, usually by means of a lens, on the film or plate, thereby producing a photographic image.

Put the two together and you have something that comes together so nicely, it's almost like..two dolphins making love, which eventually leads to dolphin marriage.

"Zeus and Roxanne" makes me cackle like and old lesbian

Anyways, these strumpets (as I like to call them) take up the precious resources offered by the internets, and hog them for their own selfish purposes to make themselves feel greatly superior to us lowly adults, what with our wrinkly skin, and frazzled pubic hair..they just make me so unhappy. I think the worst thing is their deceiving camera angles which they use to trick the mind of even the wittiest of men.

It's almost as if these girls have been able to turn water into wine using our primitive technology, and instead of reading the instructions that come in the box like all of us simpletons do, they've deciphered a secret code, possibly written by the hard working underpaid Asian workers, and opened a portal into the 3rd dimension! That or summoned the dark lord Satan himself who instead of cultivating souls chooses to spend his free time helping little Becky pose in front of her mirror to tease young boys over active libidos. Satan you are sick.

So instead of this

You drive 4 hours to shake hands with beef

(Anyone who wanted the Beautrice Author memorial page please go here: http://www.lgt2.com/bea/ to pay your respects. I know I spend nights wishing her sweet lips were on mine)