Toy Reviews - The hidden Treasure of You tube

Today I stumbled upon a variable treasure trove of hilarity. You Tube Toy Reviews!!! It seems completely obvious when you boil it down. These people are complete social misfits, the kind of people who not only obsessively collect action figures, but somehow think that the entire world would be interested in their obsession, so they post videos of them showing off their toy collections, all the while going into the subtle nuances between different versions of the toys, specific articulation, and other points that I don't care to understand.

So I thought, lets spin this fucker around, and review these toy review videos!!!

We will start off with "robot adventures" an American man child, who left the confines of his parents basement to live in the land of Toys. Japan.



This review starts off running, "Robot Adventures" is brimming with excitement over the new toy his brother sent him, bumbling over the packaging as he barely holds back his need to tear into the thing. The laughs start early too, as our boy strategically hurts himself at exactly the 1 minutes point, just when my attention begins to wane.

RA then cuts to his transformed toy, but it is clear he was unable to wrap his head around actually transforming this childrens toy, as it is very rickety. At 2:25 we get a glimpse into RA's depression, as he plays with his new toy while talking about drinking alone.

We are then treated to 3 full minutes of RA unsucsessfully trying to transform this toy to "robot mode", however it becomes painfully clear that his clumsy meatmitts are not up to this test of dexterity. He manages to partially transform Grievous, while breaking off 2 legs in the process. He fumbles with the thing for what seems like forever, when he has to take a break for a "pee pee". Apparently editing never entered this equation.

He comes back refreshed and ready for a new crack at the impossible task, unfortunatly it becomes clear that its just not happening for him, and after 2 more minutes of fumbling with it, he cuts to a fully transformed figure. I am willing to bet he sought the help of a neighbor child to complete the task, because as soon as he touches the thing again he begins to break pieces off.

Overall I found this review very entertaining, Robot Adventure took me for a ride through a wide array of emotions, I felt his frustration, his excitement, his embarassment, and his weak bladder, as he played with, and was ultimatly disappointed by, his new action figure. This video gives us a peek into the broken soul, and a disturbed young man crying out for help. 5 out of 5

Next up "Jeepers Media" (or Creepers media, as I will be referring to him) with one of his "naughty videos". Brace yourselves, this one is a doozy.



To give a brief summary, Creepers videos, or at least his naughty ones, seem to revolve around an eccentric middleaged man, applying his twisted sense or reality to Disney toys made for very young children. I will leave it to the reader to interpret this further, I however will say that I find this overall very disturbing.

Now there are some understandable reasons for a grown man to collect action figures, its not my bag., but who am I to judge. However I will judge a grown man who collects toys aimed at toddlers. There is something very strange about this, and you may wonder what kind of man not only collects these toys, but makes video reviews of them. After experiencing just 10 seconds of this video you will agree, Mike Mozart is EXACTLY that kind of man. Imagine if you will, a blubbering man child let loose in one of those dirty joke stores in the mall. Only the dirty joke store is actually the young children section of the toy store.

This idiot cackles through this review, as he applies his warped sense of humor to various toys, all interacting with the gem of his collection, the talking/fingering Pluto figure. Mozart has the sense of discovery of a 12 year old with his first boner. This collection of videos should have this man on several police "watch lists". The combination of a twisted sense of humor, toys aimed at a very young audience, and Mozart's near orgasmic joy over the whole thing are deeply upsetting.

I am going to give this review 1 out of 5 stars (that is the lowest Youtube allows) However I also went ahead and reported his video to Youtube, even though it doesn't break any specific rules, I think he is someone who should be closely watched. His next review might just be of a young boys anus.