Why do Microphones look So much like Penises??!?

So I'm sitting here, avoiding homework and watching live performances on youtube, and all at once it slaps me across the face like something appropriately phallic. Since my giggling teenage years I have known that microphones looked just like dicks, but I never really stopped to wonder why.

Basically a dick

I always just thought it was one of those things, you know, accepted it as "that's how microphones look". And of course, they didn't always look like dongs, in fact they used to look much different. With all the advancements in technology over the last 20 years, why are microphones still roughly the same size and shape of a gristle missile? It seems either the work of some master prankster, pulling a fast one on the entire music industry, or a pervert savant who wanted the option to get off to images and videos of any singer ever, using limited imagination.

Lets play, spot the fellatio

I mean, look at the above picture! Only the shape of the microphone (or penis) is censored, and you are hard pressed to figure out which is an act or oral majesty, and which is singing. A quick google search of "why are microphones phallic" yields many results, however not one of them explains the penile design. If a long shaft, with a bulbous head was the perfect instrument for sound recognition, why cant I hear out of my dick? And why don't we have dicks for ears? I suppose it is much to late for a change, the microphone is an immediately recognizable symbol of music, and any attempt to change it would elicit passionate outcry frm music fans and pedophiles alike.